of insanity and oceans
by messenger bird
Summary: “are you real?” she asked in the dead of night, after the sky fell and the moon exploded. [kairi x namine] [implied suicide]


disclaimer: don't own them or the game.

warning: um..well technically it's like incest or narcissism, but...eh. whatever. unrequited obsessive kairixnamine, which is girlxgirl. a bit of one-sided marluxiaxnamine, if you pay attention...oh, and there's implied suicide.

read something else if this is gonna offend you. got it?

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_Who is this girl?_

_Who is she and why do I see her in everything I look at?_

_She's always in my dreams._

In a slumber she doesn't have to sleep, Namine sees _her_. She's always there, with a sweet smile gracing her lips. Choppy red hair frames violet-blue eyes that constantly follow Namine, eyes that haunt her waking life as well as her dreaming reality. Those eyes, hued a delicately enigmatic cobalt-amethyst, filled with an unreadable emotion. Wait, _emotion_ – Namine knew this girl had a heart, and a strong one at that. She looked exceptionally familiar, too…

She didn't have a voice in the dream world, perhaps the real world dreamt up by nightmares.

Were Namine's dreams constantly muted, or was this girl merely shy or unable to speak? No, she could speak, Namine was sure. She just never spoke to the witch, no matter how much the blonde wished she would.

Namine spent her empty days in Castle Oblivion trying desperately to sketch that angel face, with those eyes like the ocean, abysmal and consuming. She could not get it right, the exact curve of a shy smile, the glimmer in eyes that only a girl with a heart would have, filled with life and pain. No, she could not get it right ever since she laid eyes on this girl, even if it was only in dreams.

She never noticed Marluxia staring at her as she tried again and again to recall the exact expressions of the red-haired girl, the memory-witch's face twisting into a scowl for the first time in her non-existence. Nature sneaked peeks into her beloved sketchbook, observing the failures with something that looked oddly like deranged jealousy over the obsession Namine had for the girl.

Every night, Namine would fall eagerly into an unnecessary sleep, hoping for even a small glimpse of the girl that haunted her day and night. Much to her surprise, the girl was nowhere to be found in her dreamland. She raced across the sunset-dyed beaches in her dream, the serene waves dragging themselves onto the shore only to ebb back to the sea, a place she came to know as the small oasis where the redhead girl sought sanctuary. The dream faded and Namine was thrown out of her panicked slumber, jolted awake by a rough hand shaking her frail shoulder. Pale blue orbs stared up at Axel, his gloved hand still clutching her shoulder. "Tell me, _dearest Namine_, who is this?" His voice was silky and manipulative, undertones of anger radiating through it as he held up the half-finished sketch of the girl's face; Axel's acidic eyes were mocking and smug, his usual smirk twisting his expression.

"I…don't know."

Number VIII leaned forward until his mouth was at her ear, warm breath tickling her blonde hair; she shivered. "Kairi," he breathed, a venomous tone lacing his sandpaper-silk voice; unconsciously, Namine's lips mutely echoed the name. His smirk widening, Axel pulled away and stared down at the memory-witch with a predatory tint in his burning green eyes. "I have her with me," he murmured, caustic voice cajoling; he summoned a dark portal and promptly disappeared. Namine was left alone with thoughts she didn't know what to do with.

Kairi.

Her abysmal eyes haunted Namine.

At first she had imagined merely talking to the girl, being friends with her, perhaps even best friends. She felt closer to being complete than ever before when she visited the girl as the pale phantom she was.

She didn't notice, at first. She didn't notice how her thoughts escalated over the lonely, dead days. She'd sit in her chair in one of the dull, colorless rooms, staring at nothing and everything as her dreams came to life around her. It was a full-screen movie and she was the only one in the room, vaguely shaping the next scene with the smallest of thoughts and watching as it came to life; it seemed she controlled all of it, but in all actuality she was merely pushing it in the right direction and letting it unfold itself on its own accord. It was made entirely of her thoughts nonetheless, and it came as both a shock and not a surprise at all when she kissed Kairi.

She had caught herself wondering what a kiss from the redhead would taste like, even if it were only in a dream.

It tasted of nostalgia and loneliness, cherries and bitter tears. She missed having a heart, Namine did.

She wanted Kairi's.

Alas, hearts are not reserved for the wicked and twisted.

So she'd continue dreaming in her wide-awake slumber, always craving her Somebody's lips molded to hers, always craving the feel of Kairi's heart filling her own empty ribcage. She was in a disarray, her blonde hair tangled with Kairi's cherry locks as they stood back to back and mouth to mouth, the mocking heart-shaped moon above being swallowed by a twilight ocean and stars exploding in the sky's eyes as the memory-witch stole his only heart, his only love and painted possessive toxic ink kisses all over it, gazing emptily into bruised abysmal orbs until the chains unwound and let her fall into a dying ocean. Screams echoed after shapeless shadows and hollow laughter of Number VIII as he betrayed his comrades, blood spattering on the pure, white walls of the memory-witch's mind as she snatched her only remedy away from the hero's greedy, selfish fingers and watched black cloaks fall. The voices whispered to her in the dead of the night, nature's enslaving vines wrapped around her until her dead lungs couldn't breathe. It was so hard to love her Somebody when she had no heart and she was a machine like this, with clicking gears for insides and a short-circuiting schizophrenic ghost trapped in her skull, shattering her sanity and a screaming non-existent heart with every obsessive kiss she stole from her alter-ego.

She would never truly wake up from this, trapped in bitter tears and accusing indigo orbs that told her the truth, that she really was guilty of the blood all over her small hands. They held the whole ocean and vacant hearts that turned to stone as she continued to reweave incomplete dreams and memories created for psychopaths with perfect angel façades. Namine watched as the hearts exploded one by one and fell away to cause such a cataclysmic flood over her own broken, lifeless heart. She watched herself fall to the ground, fall to her knees, fall into the weary, loving ocean that washed away beneath her fingertips like the world eroding itself.

Silence ran singsong trails around her stolen heart; the memory-witch refused to let go of that ocean she loved so dearly.

Wake up, you were screaming again. The mute ghosts of Kairi's unheard whispers would not leave her alone, and indigo eyes watched as she wasted away beneath the moonlight of all the hearts Kairi's hero released.

She wished Kairi knew that she stole the redhead's heart and chained it to her own empty ribcage. She wished the angel would see all the wrong she's wreaked for her, wished she would see how much her Somebody has been playing havoc with her ghostly sanity, shattering everything she had built and made stable. Kairi turned her upside down and brutally murdered all the good in her. The redhead's cold, loving heart was so still, staring down at the bloodied pale skin and pale eyes that were still open and dreaming in comatose states only for the lonely.

She could not stop; she haunted her so much, indigo eyes staring and following with silent accusations and no emotion. She never saw the empty glimmer in those pale blue orbs, never saw the glint of the knife as it plunged as deep as it would go, over and over in spatters of blood as a scythe-wielder watched the memory-witch's suicide from the corner, black hood pulled over his head.

"Are you real?" she asked in the dead of night, after the sky fell and the moon exploded.

"Let's just pretend that nothing's broken." Colors exploded with sound and returned in vague blurs as the Nobody and her Somebody held hands on the last night, in twisted dreams woven of insanity and heartbreak.

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please review? -puppy face- 


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